"The Unexpected Joys of Motherhood: A Fresh Perspective"

Usually, when I visit friends who have new babies or young children, I leave with an even firmer conviction that I won’t be having kids. It’s not just the chaos, the sleepless nights, or the constant complaints about the pain and trauma of childbirth. It’s the way people talk about how their lives change—how they lose their personal time, their money, and so much more. But today was different. Today, I visited one of my dearest friends, and I walked away with a completely new perspective on motherhood.

From the moment I stepped into her new home, I was struck by how warm and open it felt. There she was, her radiant smile lighting up the room, glowing skin, and a baby attached to her breast—both of them completely at peace in their little world.

I couldn’t help but ask, “So, how’s motherhood?” Her answer was simple but filled with so much joy: “Amazing.”

I sat down and listened as she shared how, at 37, becoming a mother was the most natural next step for her—one she had chosen carefully when the time felt right. It wasn’t about pressure or expectations. She was with the right man, living the life she wanted, and in the best place professionally. She had created the life she wanted and felt fully ready to take on the adventure of motherhood.

Yes, there had been sleepless nights and, as she put it, “a complete life change,” but in her eyes, every single moment was worth it. She loved being up every two hours with her baby. The exhaustion didn’t bother her; in fact, it was part of the experience she had chosen. She described her journey as “perfect,” and I could see the genuine happiness in her eyes as she spoke about it.

Her birth story, too, felt like something out of a movie—calm, unhurried, and beautiful. The only negativity she encountered wasn’t in her experience, but in the opinions of others. Everywhere she turned, people were quick to tell her about the pain, the struggles, the things that could go wrong. It was as if no one wanted to celebrate the beauty of her pregnancy or the joy of motherhood. In fact, she’d grown so tired of the negative comments that she decided to stop sharing her positive feelings altogether. She just went on living and enjoying the experience on her own terms.

Her labor, too, was as chill as she is. When her water broke, it wasn’t some dramatic moment. In fact, she almost didn’t believe it at first. She thought it was just Braxton Hicks contractions. She convinced herself it wasn’t time. There was no panic, no rush—just, “I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap.” Even after the second gush of water, there was no urgency. Her partner called the hospital, and they made their way to the birthing centre in their own time.

What surprised me most about her birth story, though, wasn’t the calmness with which she handled everything—it was how the doctors and midwives seemed almost indifferent. Her contractions were three to five minutes apart, yet no one seemed in a hurry to check on her until she reached the point where she was ready to push. But watching the video of her birth, I understood why.

She gave birth in complete silence. No screams, no groans, just quiet focus. With no epidural, just gas and air, she calmly worked through her contractions. She’d hold onto the bed, twist, turn, breathe deeply, and then—like magic—her baby slipped into the world. A perfect, peaceful delivery. Twelve hours from the moment her waters broke to holding her baby in her arms.

Even the challenges she faced—like breastfeeding—were approached with the same calm, thoughtful mindset. When her baby wasn’t gaining enough weight, the midwife suggested a latching class. After just one session, she learned the problem was with the latch itself. Once she fixed that, breastfeeding became a pain-free experience, and her baby began gaining weight.

What struck me the most about my friend’s story wasn’t that everything was perfect or easy. It wasn’t that motherhood was magical all the time. What was so refreshing was how she embraced every part of her experience, even the challenging moments, because it was her experience. She didn’t let the warnings and complaints of others shape her journey. She chose this path when she felt ready—and she loves it for what it is.

Yes, your life changes. Yes, there are sleepless nights. Yes, everything takes longer. Yes, everything revolves around the baby. Yes, relationships get tested. But my friend has found joy in all of it because, at the end of the day, she chose this reality. She decided when the time was right, and she embraced it with open arms.

So, as I left her home that day, I left with a new perspective. I may not be ready for motherhood yet, but I realised that it’s not about the endless complaints or the stories of hardship. It’s about choosing to experience it on your own terms, finding joy in the challenges, and loving the journey you’re on. And for my friend, that journey has been nothing short of amazing.

Written by: Marina Townsend